Why I decided to leave my college
This is going to be a lengthy post, so bear with me...
It's been a little over a month since I wrote my last blog post, and let me tell you- its been a crazy little over a month.
Between prepping for my final exams, actually taking my final exams, moving back home, the holidays, and a bunch of other crazy times that come along with this time of year, I have had little time to myself. However, I plan on having plenty of time to myself in the next few months.
I decided to leave my college, and to take a semester off. I know that this isn't a very conventional decision to make, and a lot of people have been not only confused, but judgmental towards this decision. The first thing that people ask me is, "why? you didn't like it?", and that is usually followed up by "you had problems with your roommate, didn't you..."
First of all, no I did not like it, and second of all, I absolutely love my roommate and she is hands down one of the best people that I have in my life.
SJU turned out to really not be the place for me. Because of a lot of personal things that were going on in my life at the time of applying to schools, I was super stressed out and applied Early Action to Fordham and SJU. I heard back from SJU first, and got in. I was so relieved and so happy to know that I could actually have a plan, and a place to be, for the following year- especially at such a unstable point in my life. I heard back a few days before christmas, and almost immediately I put down my $500 deposit. SJU was one of the only schools I visited, and they had an interesting program I would be in, so I just decided to go there. Literally it was that simple. I forgot all about the other 8 schools I had on my list, and just decided to go to SJU. It's a small, private, catholic school- aka the opposite of everything I actually wanted growing up, so to say people were surprised by my decision was an understatement. But it really came down to the fact that I loved my admissions counselor, and I was confident that I would be able to make myself happy no matter where I was.
I came home every weekend, I was depressed, and I was a mess. You know, you see all your friends having fun at their colleges, you go visit them and experience that same fun, and then when you can't feel that way about your own school.... it's really awful. In no way am I intending to put any negative light on the school itself, for there are many people who love it there. But for me, it did not work.
It seemed as though nothing added up right. I was not motivated, my classes did not inspire me, I only met a few people who I really clicked with, the campus was empty on the weekends, I got sick from the food (literally) every.single.day. After many heart-to-hearts with my roomie, I was able to come to terms with the fact that I needed to leave. Initially, I was going to leave for my sophomore year, but then I realized there was no way I could justify spending so much more money to just remain miserable for another whole semester.
Now don't get me wrong, this was not a rash decision, although I did make it very quickly. I went with my roomie to get information on how to withdraw from the school, and while we were there we just decided to do it. There was no point in dragging it out any longer, and I can not tell you the relief and happiness we felt once we got it done. (Yes, we both left).
Ultimately, I'm sure that not many of you understand why I would leave halfway through the year, but I am confident that I will make the most of my next semester and will be much happier. I realized that no matter what, I need to put myself, and my happiness first. If I stayed, and continued to be so unhappy, then I would not perform well or take advantage of the college, and it would just be a waste.
SO, all that being said, I'm still not sure what exactly I am going to do next semester, but I have a little bit of time left to figure it out. My social media business is growing, and is keeping me quite busy, and I'm looking to enroll at a few classes somewhere or online just to keep the credits rolling in. And of course I will be continuing my college search, and applying for next year!
The moral of the story is, you live and you learn. Some mistakes are more expensive than others ;). And always, and I mean always, put your happiness before anything else. You deserve it.
I'm sure I'll have more posts about this going into more detail, but if you have any questions or want to talk, feel free to email me!